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Old Time Hooligans

from Leave No Prints Behind e​.​p. by Purple Hill

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about

My friend Jason Lormand and I ran into the younger brother of an old friend of ours in the Orangeville L.C.B.O. parking lot. He was a little bit insulting and short with us. Way to cocky for our liking. We told him straight up with a threat. "We are going to get you." He smiled a smug smile and strutted away with his posse of hangers on turning back at us to say, "my parents are gone this weekend. I'm having a party. Maybe you two pussies would like to attend."

That was a poor choice of words little man.

Jay and i attended a backyard ceremony for the remarriage of a friends father. There was a jazz band and way too much free booze. Then it was off to the bar where the idea of terrorizing the little bastard really took shape. So we took a cab back to my parents house and made the two block trek through many wooded backyards to reach our destination.

When we came to the edge of his parents property, the house was dark and dead. Either they were asleep or not home. It was around 3:30 in the morning and we felt the disappointment settle in. We made the decision to abort our mission. Then, as we were beginning to leave, as if right on cue, we saw car lights coming up the driveway. A cab pulled up and let the little bastard out. The little bastard was really wasted and was slurring profanities at the cab driver who was clearly worried (judging by the tone of his voice) weather or not this twerp was going to pay him. The little bastard twerp threw a bunch of change all over the dashboard and proceeded into his parents house. The cab left. We pondered for a while. We came to a decision. We were going in the house.

We went in through the back sliding glass door. It was unlocked. We tippy toed up the stairs and into the twerps room. Turned the lights on. There he was. Fully clothed passed out on his bed with one hand down his pants snoring. We poked at his face. We grabed his cheeks. Slapped his face. Nothing was waking this fool up. We tooth pasted his face, shaving creamed his hands, tied him to the bed, put one of his mothers undergarments on his head, cooked macaroni and cheese, ate the macaroni and cheese, left the dirty dishes, stole 27 bottles of booze and a knapsack full of Amway products, we laughed our asses off as we left every single light on in the house with the blazing august sun rising overhead. Our eyes glazed over in glory.

lyrics

a younger brother of an older friend
of theirs
took liberty in calling them soft
didn't notice the whiskey
in their hands
old time hooligans
plot out when
their gonna get the brother
get him good and wasted
then attack him
with whiskey
in their hands
don't you know what happens

ah you crossed them
their bastard meter peaks out at 10
ah you crossed them
their bastard meter peeks out at 10
their old time hooligans

shaving cream the palm of his hand
tie him to the bed
macaroni and cheese
leave the dishes
amway parphinalia
in the bag
leave no prints behind
take the booze
with whiskey in their hands
don't you know what happens

ah you crossed them
their bastard meter peeks out at 10
ah you crossed them
their bastard meter peeks out at 10
their old time hooligans

bye bye bye

credits

from Leave No Prints Behind e​.​p., track released March 25, 2012
Jordan Bruce: drums
Quentin Ede: bass, back up vocals
Brent Hough: guitar
Owen Marchidon: guitar, vocals

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Purple Hill Toronto, Ontario

Purple Hill Records is difficult to define as anything but Rock and Roll. Driving, catchy, exploratory, a Rock and Roll that encompasses decades. From the roots of The Velvets and The Feelies, Big Star and beyond, the label is now a complete package and compliment to the style, mind, and song writing of Owen Marchildon ... more

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